The Cursed Webpage
by Insane Rice of the Cosmos
Summary: When Sunny finds a cursed website, well, you'll see, but it's a twisted plot bunny that made this. Chapter 14: Back to normal? Not for long...
1. CURSED!

Ok, I'm listening to something incredibly sad and I'm writing a funny story…Odd, eh? Well, it's a plot bunny inspired story, so bear with me here!

Anywho, here's the thing: What if Sunny finds a cursed website that…well, you'll see.

-

AND YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL IS…

"A peacock?! THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT!"

"Why are you yelling, Sunny?"

-

Sunny was seething at the monitor, as though it had called him a very bad name. "This website says my spirit animal's a PEACOCK! THAT'S LAME!"

Sideswipe thought for a moment before venturing to ask, "Sunny, do you even know what a peacock looks like?"

"Uh, no. But an animal that has two human obscenities in it's name CAN'T be good!"

"Try Googling it, then tell me what you think."

-

_A few awkward moments later…_

"So, what do you think?"

"…Huh? Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening. I was too busy staring at my feathered friend here. Isn't he handsome?" Sunny was practically drooling over the regal looking bird on screen. Sideswipe was about to mention that the peacock was a symbol of vanity, but then again…He'd let his brother enjoy himself. For now.

"Ok, move your aft. I wanna try that test." Grumbling, the yellow twin allowed him to try. But he'd have to save that peacock picture for his Myspace profile.

-

"Hmmmm…This thing says my spirit animal's a bull. What'd you get, 'Hide?" Ratchet had discovered the website as well, and passed it on to Ironhide…and Optimus…and Jazz.

"Says I'm a bear." Ironhide nodded, satisfied. "You, Optimus?"

"Wolf." Replied the red and blue leader. "Sounds about right. Jazz?"

"Panther." Smirked the suave mech. "HELLYEAH."

"Speaking of animals, where's Bee?" piped up Ratchet, looking up.

"Out playing with Floodlight and Sam. Should we show him this?" asked Ironhide curiously.

"He'll probably be back late." Optimus said sagely. Jazz nodded.

He was about to say more, but a sudden screech emitted from somewhere in the base, almost frying their audios. A sudden blinding light, then…

-

"Optimus? 'Hide? Ratchet? Jazz? Guys?"

Bee and Floodlight had returned from their day with Sam, only to find the base dark and spooky like. Floodlight's optics glowed brightly in the darkness as he glanced nervously around. "Bee?" he said nervously. "It's ok, Flood." He said, reassuring the little mech on his shoulders.

The light from Flood's optics fell on a black, snakelike thing. "KITTY!" squealed the youngling, and leapt on the black form on the ground. The yowl from the thing hurt both their audios. "GETOFF!" snarled the thing, as Flood clung on to the writhing form. "Kitty!" he squealed again, hugging it tightly.

Wait a second…that thing's voice…it couldn't be…!

"Jazz?"

"Yeah, Bee?"

-

Holy heck. This is a strange and twisted plot bunny…


	2. Just wow

Ok, so the last chap was a little confuzling. This'll be more explanatory, really. Well, they're still robotic, only animals. Think Beast Wars, but twisted up crazy like.

* * *

"Ok, let me get this straight: You and the others were taking some sort of online quiz and now you have a tail?"

"That's about right." The panther now known as Jazz purred as Floodlight scratched behind his ears. "Thanks Flood."

"Where's everyone else?"

"Dunno. Try turning on the lights."

-

Bee did turn on the lights…and gave a cry of surprise.

There was a red and blue wolf crashed on the couch, actually snoring. A huge black bear was rolled up on it's side and a bull was collapsed on the floor. Bee was pretty sure the wolf was his guardian, so quietly he crept up and poked the wolf slightly. "Optimus…Optimus, wake up."

The wolf grumbled as he unshuttered one optic. "Whut?" he growled, then stretched as a dog might and sat on his haunches. "Oh, it's just you, Bee." The wolf blinked in surprise. "You've gotten bigger all of a sudden."

"Uh, Optimus? I haven't gotten bigger. You just shrunk…a little."

"That's crazy. I haven't shrunk!" he snorted.

"Oh no? Put you hand on mine." He said, holding out his hand. Optimus put a paw on it and…Wait, a paw?!

"Oh no." he breathed, looking himself over. "I've become a…a…Jazz, what's that word?"

"We've become furries?" suggested Jazz, as Flood hugged him like a beloved stuffed toy.

"Yes, that. But I do have good news." Optimus grinned in a mischievous sort of way.

"…" Bee though for a moment, before looking at Optimus in surprise.

"You sent it to Megatron, didn't you?"

"You got it."

-

"Lord Megatron, youyouyou have an e-mail!"

Frenzy dashed in carrying his laptop and presented it to the Decepticon leader.

"From Optimus, huh? This should be good…"

-

_A few hours later…_

"I'm a raven! That means I'm smart!" Starscream was rejoicing over his test results.

"Yes, but you tend to pick up random, shiny objects…" snarled Barricade. He didn't look too pleased. Neither did Frenzy. Barricade, as it turned out, had the personality of a Doberman Pincher. Frenzy had the personality of a squirrel.

-

Quakeshot, Shift, and the other new arrivals had taken the test as well. It was GH who had set off the reaction that now afflicted the Autobots.

No one knew what had hit them.

-

Optimus had woken up the Medic and the weapons specialist. Neither were too pleased with the changes. Ratchet kept shooting glares at Optimus, as though it was all his fault.

"Stop glaring at me, Ratchet." Growled Optimus. The Medic shook his head. "Is it my fault that your armor is red?" he snapped back.

"At least you guys can still fight…" said a mournful voice from somewhere.

They all turned to see a regal blue (with some yellow feathers) peacock, who strutted his way towards the group. "Hey guys." It said sadly.

"Sunny?!" they all said, each authentically surprised and amused at the same time. This was indeed ironic.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up…" he said glaring at the snickering Bee.

"Where's Sides?" asked Ironhide, his voice deeper then ever.

"He's not coming out. You'll laugh at him." The peacock said resolutely.

"No we won't. Just tell him to come out." Ratchet said, nodding.

"I'm already out, you idiots."

A red sparrow had landed on the peacock's head. "Go on, laugh." It said sadly.

"Don't mind if I do." Ratchet had fallen on his side, laughing at the Twins who were no longer twins.

-

There was a sudden sound from the computer. "We're getting a transmission from the Decepticons." Said Bee, whipping around to turn the screen on.

-

OPTIMUS PRIME, I'LL KILL YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

A really pissed off looking eagle sat before then on the screen. "Megatron?" asked the Autobot leader.

"YES, IT'S ME." The bird screeched back. "What's the big idea, sending me directions to a CURSED website, huh?! Now my soldiers are animals!" A raven fluttered down beside him. "Erm, Lord Megatron, Quakeshot and Voltgear are fighting again." It cawed. "DAMNIT, Starscream, I'm busy! Break them up, NOW."

Turning back, Megatron barely noticed Optimus now had four legs. He chuckled. "So it got you too, huh?" "No shit." Optimus spat back.

Sunny and Sides were laughing at the now dazed Seeker falling off the platform that Megatron was on.

* * *

A/N: so what shall they do now, huh? 


	3. Not alone, you guys

Ok, so they've been turned into animals. Sounds like it's not a big deal, right? WRONG.

It seems the website extends to other places in the universe…and it hits a few Autobots not featured in the film. XD

This'll be my first time using characters NOT from the TF movie, so sorry again for inaccuracies. I'll provide a list after this chap is over of the 'transformations' in case anyone's confused.

Oh, and I only own my OCs. No one else in this story.

-

"YOU DIE NOW, FERRET!"

"YOU FIRST, SNAKEFEMME!"

A cobra and a mongoose were circling each other, each poised for battle and ready to strike.

"Would you two cut it out?" Shift, who was now a lynx, yawned as she watched then, bored. "You're making me tired just circling each other."

"Tell me about it." A ferret sat next to her, black armor glistening. "Voltgear, what did Quakeshot ever do to you?"

"She was born, that's what!" snarled the mongoose, glaring at the snake.

Quakeshot hissed irritably at the mech. "Same to you, fuzzbutt!"

"Oi! Cut it out you two!" Starscream flew down between them. "Megatron said shut up or he'll kill you both." He said in a business like manner.

The reply?

He flew off, cawing in pain, as Voltgear clung to his legs, fangs buried deep in the Seeker's skin.

-

_Meanwhile…_

"Ahhh! Sunny, help!"

"Sorry, not listening. Too busy laughing!"

Sideswipe had made the mistake of landing himself on Ratchet's nose. Being red, the bull instinct took over. The Medic was now charging at the sparrow and causing massive damage to any equipment in his path. Bee, Optimus and Ironhide were attempting to calm him down while Jazz and Sunny watched off to the side. Both were laughing quite hard.

A sudden _blip_ sound from the computer caught Jazz's attention. Stalking towards it, he turned it on…and came face to face with a robotic German Shepard and a vaguely familiar looking blue parrot. "JAZZ!" snarled the dog with a voice that sounded a lot like…

"Prowl? Haven't seen you in a while." He said casually. The police dog wasn't amused. "Bluestreak and I have been turned into animals. Care to explain why?"

"Blue? Though he was dead." Replied Jazz in a surprised voice.

"I should be saying the same thing about you!" squawked the parrot. "Great to see you too, Jazz. I see you've got a new look."

"Animal armor is the new in thing, Blue." Joked the Special Ops bot. "Hey! Just let me speak with Optimus, alright?" snarled Prowl impatiently. "He's busy." Replied the panther.

"With what, pray tell?"

Jazz moved out of the way to show Prowl the chaos behind him. "The red sparrow is Sideswipe, Ratchet's the bull, Optimus is the wolf, and 'Hide's the bear. Bee's still the same."

All the pair could do was stare as Ratchet ran after Sideswipe. Prowl cracked a smile. "It's almost poetic." He snickered. "Anyway, I just got a transmission from Elita, Arcee and Chromia. They should be contacting you shortly. Tell Optimus I said hi." Jazz nodded. "Alright, Prowl. Do try to get to Earth. It's not so bad over here."

"I'll see what I can do. It's very hard to do things without thumbs. Over and out." "Bye Jazz!" squawked Blue as the screen faded.

Jazz had forgotten to mention about the website. Oh well. He'd tell the femmes when they contacted hi-

_Blip_

A rather disgruntled she wolf was on screen. Crashes could be heard from behind her. "Jazz? That you?" she asked. "Yeah. That you, Elita?"

"As a matter of fact, it is. Nice to see you again." She looked off screen and yelped as a Tasmanian devil slammed into her. "DAMNIT, CHROMIA, STOP FIGHTING WITH ARCEE!" snarled the she wolf. "But I'm bored!" complained the she devil.

A robotic rabbit poked it's head up from the bottom of the screen. "Jazz?" it asked. "The one and only. Arcee?"

"Back 'atcha. Hi Jazz! Do you know exactly why we've been turned into animals, 'cuz we aren't so sure."

"Did you do a quiz on the Internet that tells you what your spirit animal is?" asked Jazz, dodging a bit of debris that Ratchet had knocked his way in his rage.

"Internet? No, we don't get that out here. We're too far, I'd think. But the good news is we're closing in on Earth. We should be there soon." Elita and Chromia's snarls could be heard in the background. "What about you guys? How hard were you hit?"

"Very. But Bee and Flood weren't affected." Jazz replied.

"Who's Flood?" asked the rabbit curiously.

"New guy. You'll meet him soon enough. I'll let Optimus know you guys called."

"Bye Jazz! I have to break up these two." She grumbled. "Stop fighting! We're almost there!" The screen faded to black.

Well, today was becoming interesting. Two calls in one day from friends he hadn't seen in the longest ti-

_Blip_

Two pairs of optics were staring at the screen. "Is this thing on?" asked one. "Yeah. Back up, Jack!" said the other.

Jazz saw that the two were a chameleon and some kind of bird. "State your names and factions." Growled Jazz, not recognizing them.

"Autobots Wheeljack and Mirage here. That you Jazz?" asked the bird.

"Whoa. Just whoa. Haven't seen either of you in a while. How ya doing?"

"Ok, except for the fact that I'M A STUPID LIZARD." Snapped Mirage. "I told you, you're a chameleon." Said Wheeljack.

"Ok, that's one down. What about you, Jack, what are you suppose to be?"

"Well, we aren't too sure." At that moment, the bird burst into flames, causing Mirage to jump away from the flames. "But I'm thinking he's a phoenix."

"Ever since I was turned into this, I've been spontaneously combusting. When we gat to earth, I'm asking Ratchet if I'm suppose to do that." Piped up Wheeljack. "Speaking of which, where is everyone?"

Jazz shook his head. This was going to be a long day.

-

LOL.

Anyway, here's the list I promised.:

Optimus- wolf

Ratchet- Bull

Ironhide- bear

Jazz- Panther

Sunstreaker- peacock

Sideswipe- Sparrow

Prowl- German Shepard

Bluestreak- Parrot

Elita- wolf

Chromia- Tasmanian Devil (Not the cartoon kind, the real kind.)

Arcee- rabbit

Mirage-Chameleon

Wheeljack- Phoenix (cuz he likes spontaneously combusting.XD)

Megatron- eagle

Starscream- Raven

Barricade- Doberman Pincher

Frenzy- Squirrel

Shift- Lynx

GH- Ferret

Quakeshot- Cobra

Voltgear- Mongoose

Hope I didn't forget someone. Anyway, see you guys next chapter. I have to clean my room. –grumblegrumblepissedoffexpression-


	4. Good news, everyone

So we've seen some of the Autobots turned animal. How are the Decepticons holding up? Let's see… Oh, and Megatron swears in this one. Also, I think I cracked the Fourth Wall in this one. I think…

Soundwave's in this one, for all of his fans. Blurr too. And maybe some more in a bit. Hopefully I won't mangle their personalities too much.

* * *

"SILENCE! I COMAND YOU ALL TO SHUT THE SLAG UP."

Silence fell on the assembled animal bots, each looking intently on the eagle sitting on the makeshift podium at the front of the room. "Alright, anyone have any ideas on how we change back to normal form? Come on, anyone? Don't be shy." Mumbles came from the crowd as they discussed it.

"I do."

Everyone turned to see a rather blank faced looking Fennec fox make his way through the crowd. "Hello, Lord Megatron." It said in a dull voice.

"Soundwave?!"

"Yes, it is me." He rasped, voice still as dull as ever. "and I brought a few friends."

A large badger and a bull dog were right behind him. "State your names." Snapped Megatron warily.

"Decepticon Blackout, sir!" growled the badger.

"Bonecrusher here, sir!" barked the bull dog.

"I though you two idiots were dead." Muttered Megatron.

"We came back as these animals…" Blackout frowned. "Permission to state my opinion."

"Go on."

"These new alt modes suck." His comment was greeted by cheers and laughs of agreement.

-

"Hey Blurr. What's new?" Jazz asked the screen. He'd been playing secretary all day, and now he was speaking with Blurr, who wasn't on the screen.

"Nothing much. Why?" was the fast reply.

"Damnitall, Blurr, you're worse then Frenzy. Speaking of which, what happened to you?"

"Turned into an animal."

"What kind?" asked the panther.

"You'll laugh." The mech said quietly.

"Try me."

"Ok, just don't tell the others, ok?"

A spiky head poked up from the side of the screen. "Ok, what do you think?" he asked nervously.

"…You're a porcupine?"

"Actually, I spoke with Wheeljack. He said I was a hedgehog." He didn't look all too pleased. "EVERYONE knows hedgehogs are one of the slowest animals EVER. What am I gonna do?! I mean, shouldn't I have become a cheetah or maybe an impala or something that didn't SUCK? But then again, Wheelie's a seagull now, so I shouldn't be complaining."

"Er, actually, Blurr, there's something you should know about hedgehogs. You see…" But there was no calming him down.

"I'll be on Earth soon. Just tell Optimus I said hi and the others not to laugh at me, 'kay?"

"Fine. That makes you, Prowl, Blue, Arcee, Elita, Chromia, Hot Rod, Wheeljack and Mirage. Anything else?"

"Actually, no. I'll see you in a few. Bye!"

-

"Ok, that's done. I can't believe it took three hours to get Ratchet to calm down." Optimus, 'Hide and Bee were practically dragging themselves back, while also dragging the snoring bull back inside. "Hey Jazz. Anything happen while we were gone?" asked Bee.

"Actually…"

-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ELITA JUST SAID 'HI'?!"

Optimus was in a panic. Elita was coming to Earth, along with several other bots he hadn't seen in the longest time.

Meanwhile, Sunny was barely waking up from the nap he'd taken. His brother preached himself on his head and told him everything.

-

_Meanwhile…_

"'Cade, what happened?"

A robotic puppy sat next to the Doberman. "I'm not quite sure, Turret." He muttered, as the little femme, who taken the quiz as well and turned into a puppy, snuggled closer to him.

Suddenly, something caught her eye. Barking, she dashed after it. Barricade looked up and saw it was Frenzy. He snickered as the femme chased him up a tree, while he chattered angrily at the femme.

"I though I told you to stop chasing me!" he shrieked angrily.

-

"So, Soundwave, why are we all animals again?"

"Ok, here's how it is: I've tracked a rouge virus that made copies of its self and now a copy of the virus run through us all. It was transmitted through the website and most of the ones who were in contact with the ones who took the test." Explained the fox. "If we can find the original, I can change it's programming so it can change us back."

"Sounds about right…" Megatron mused over the idea.

"It's FINDING the virus that's the hard part."

* * *

A/N: Do you think they'll find the virus? Hope so.

Filereaper: -sweat drops-


	5. Reunion Battle

For those who think I'm going to make Bee a bee as his spirit animal, you will be very disappointed. One, that's too obvious, Two, I think Bee's got a better personality then that. Don't start complaining, because I'm not changing whatever he becomes.

So everyone meets up for the first time in a long time…Hooray, a reunion! 8D

I don't own Transformers. Wish I did. That would be totally cool.

* * *

"Optimus! We've got three ships entering the atmosphere. I can only assume they're Autobot crafts, but we need to be cautious, never the less."

"Right. 'Hide, Ratchet, you take the one out in the Nevada deserts. Sunny, Sides and Jazz will take the one closest to the base due to Sunny's…well, you know." Optimus laughed slightly. Sunny wasn't amused. "Sure, laugh it up at the pretty mech!" he snarled under his breath,

"So who takes the third ship?" Ironhide tilted his head thoughtfully.

"Bee and I will. Speaking of which, I haven't seen him all day." Optimus replied, looking around.

"I'm here! Just go one without me or Flood! We'll be fine." Bee's voice sounded from somewhere in the base.

"Oh no you don't, you!" Optimus dashed to where Bee was hiding. Only it didn't look like Bee. An adolescent male lion lay on Bee's recharge bed, looking at Optimus sheepishly. "Er, Hey Optimus." He said, sweatdropping.

Optimus could only stare. "Bee…" he began slowly, "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"I was curious! Honest! Flood took it too!"

"I see. And where is Floodlight?" Optimus questioned, voice still calm.

A series of clicks and squeaks resounded from behind Bee. A lion cub popped up from behind him. "Hi, Optimus!" it squeaked and giggled.

Optimus shook his head. "Just go and meet that ship." He muttered, exasperated.

-

The ship that landed closest to base contained a burnt up Mirage and an apologetic looking Wheeljack.

"I'm SORRY! I can't control that impulse!" he said, bursting into flames yet again.

Sunny, Sides and Jazz looked at each other before approaching the distraught mech. "Jack?"

The phoenix looked up. "Sunny? Jazz? Where's Sides?" The red sparrow fluttered close to his beak. "I'm right here, slaggitall!" he squawked irritably.

"Oh. Sorry." Muttered the phoenix. Mirage rolled his optics before turning to Jazz and asking, "Where's the base? I've never felt so much like toast in my life."

-

'Hide and Ratchet had met up with Prowl and Bluestreak in the Nevada Desert.

Prowl didn't look too affected by the parrot constant chatter, but Ironhide had told him to stuff a sock in it a few times. All Ratchet did when 'Hide said this was smirk.

-

Optimus, Bee and Flood were dashing across the barren landscape towards the third and final spacecraft, but it seemed they'd walked into a battlefield.

A she wolf was snapping at an eagle and a raven circling her, cawing and screeching taunts. A Tasmanian she devil was taking on a ferret, a mongoose and a Doberman at the same time, while a pink rabbit was fighting a lynx who was toying with her, like cats will do to prey.

The distinct lack of missiles and plasma blasts was a bit…unnerving.

The second Optimus spotted the she wolf, he instantly knew who it was. "Elita!" he howled, leaping and nearly grabbing Starscream out of the air. He did manage to snap off a few metal feathers, but that was hardly the point. He was fighting alongside Elita again.

Bee charged into the fray, swatting at the lynx, who hissed and backed off. "Arcee?" Bee asked the rabbit.

"Bee? You've grown a bit, haven't you? Look out!" Bee barely dodged the lynx's attempt to leap onto his back. Kicking out, he struck the lynx a hearty blow to the chest. "Should we help her?" Bee asked, nodding at the Tasmanian she devil swatting viciously at her assailants. "Chromia's going to be fine." Replied Arcee, nodding.

Floodlight, who had never been in battle before, was sticking close to Bee, slightly fearfully. "Beee…" he whimpered, inching closer to him. "Awww…is this Flood?" Arcee asked, looking at the little cub curiously. "Yes, it is." Bee replied contently.

Suddenly, he noticed the snake inching closer to Chromia's exposed back. She didn't notice, considering she was fighting three opponents at a time. The snake looked about ready to strike…

A huge paw came from nowhere and sent the cobra flying. A bull charged at the animals Chromia was fighting. A German Shepard lunged at the Doberman, while a parrot struck the ferret, almost carrying it off like some bird of prey. Chromia turned to see a large bear behind her. Bristling slightly, she glared at it. "Chromia…" he said softly. "It's me."

"Ironhide?" she said, astonished.

"_Decepticons, retreat!"_ Megatron's squawk came from somewhere near Optimus and Elita, who snapped playfully at Starscream's retreating talons.

-

Elita headed the returning party, Optimus never more then a few paw steps away from her side. An injured Chromia was seated on Ironhide's back. Despite her protests, both he and Ratchet had insisted that she not walk until they got back to base. Bee was keeping an optic on both Floodlight and Arcee. They were the smallest, aside from Sides, so he felt he needed to make sure neither of them fell behind.

Flood was having a great time. Not only did he have a brother, but he'd now obtained a sister! He must have been the luckiest youngling ever…

-

"Waddaya mean, 'I missed a battle'?!"

Jazz was furious. He'd wanted to fight at least once while in his animal form. Unlike most of the others, he was enjoying his new found form. It was a lot more versatile then his old form.

The irate panther turned to Sunny. "I blame you for this!" And as though he was adding an exclamation point, Wheeljack burst into flames again. Right next to Sunny.

"Ratchet! Am I suppose to do that?" asked the worried looking bird, as one of Sunny's feathers was singed badly. No one could frown after that.

* * *

-fingers sizzle- Ow. I'm getting better at writing longer chaps. YAY! 


	6. LOL

Ok, this chap has a theme, yes a theme. Tis called 'Romancical Comedy. '. –nodnod-

QS: Rice, are you ok? No heatstroke or anything?

Me: Nope. Not this time.

-

"WADDA MEAN, 'HE'S BUSY?!"

Prowl was pissed. He'd been meaning to talk to Optimus ever since the battle about something important, but now…

"I told you, Prowl. He and Ironhide are taking the day off to spend time with their sparkmates. I told them to." Ratchet was standing firmly in the German Shepard's way. "All four of them need this time. WITH EACH OTHER. NOT WITH YOU OR ANYONE ELSE."

Even Prowl knew when Ratchet had beaten him. Grumbling, he passed the twins, who exchanged curious glances.

"So, Optimus and Hide are busy, eh?" Sunny said.

"Not to be disturbed? Well, well, well." Sides chuckled. "Seems we have a new project. We'll need help on this one though. You can't carry a video camera and stalk them at the same time, Sunny. Too obvious."

"Shall we get Blue to do it?"

"Precisely whom I was thinking off."

-

"So let me get this straight: You want me to stalk Ironhide and Chromia while they're on a date while documenting the whole thing?" The parrot cocked his head to the side.

"Exactly. Just don't get caught." Sides said seriously.

"And if you do, don't mention us." Sunny added.

-

Ironhide and Chromia were used to fighting with guns, missiles, and that stuff. Now that there was a distinct lack of those, well…

Both were sparring with each other, Ironhide holding back slightly due to his size and strength. "Come on, Hide!" snarled Chromia. "An enemy as big as you wouldn't hold back! Don't even think of going easy on me!"

"Alright. If you insist." He began fighting with his usual ferocity.

Blue was watching with the camera on his back. '_BORING…'_ he thought. He wondered how Sides was doing…

-

Optimus and Elita were content to merely be in each other's presence.

Both lay on Optimus' recharge bed, side by side, heads on their paws, and recharging peacefully. The lights had been dimmed and Optimus' extensive speaker set was playing 'Can You feel the Love Tonight?' by Elton John.

Sideswipe had taken several pictures of the couple, considering they wouldn't be up soon. With the camera strapped to his back, he fluttered up and out of the vents.

All while the music played…

_There's a time for everyone if they only learn_

_  
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn_

_  
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors_

_  
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours…"_

-

Sunny had the job of distracting Ratchet AWAY from his two chums stalking the two couples.

"So Ratchet…" asked Sunny, "Why don't you just make us some weaponry so we don't have to fight with out teeth and claws, huh?"

Ratchet merely stared at the peacock, dumbfounded. "Are you just asking that so I have an excuse to kill you?" he asked slowly.

"No really! I'm being genuinely honest and honestly genuine!" replied Sunny.

Ratchet stood up, and said in a quiet voice, "Let me tell you a story: A human accidentally cut off all his fingers while working."

"Yuk." Rasped the peacock.

"Indeed. He went to the hospital, and the surgeon said, " Gross. Well, get your fingers and come to the ER. The human said he didn't have the fingers. When the surgeon asked why not, you know what he said?"

"No."

"He asked, 'Well, Doc, explain to me how I was suppose to pick them up.'"

Sunny laughed. "Hahahaha! But what was the point of the story?"

Ratchet snapped. "I DON'T HAVE FINGERS, YOU IDIOTIC SLAGHEAD!"

-

Ooo, Ratchet's so pissed. X3


	7. ZEH GREAT FILEREAPER!

Ok. That last chap was WAY TOO SHORT. PERIOD.

So, I'm writing another chap. This one's a bit longer, promise.

PS: Sunny can't keep his trap shut sometimes… XD

* * *

"I GOT BEAT UP FOR NOTHING?!" 

A bruised and beaten up Sunstreaker was glaring at his two crestfallen accomplices. Apparently, neither had gotten anything particularly juicy or damaging.

"You two are the worst spies EVER." Snarled the peacock, wings beating furiously as both shrank away.

-

Prowl was listening in on their conversation, and couldn't help but smile as he acquainted himself with Floodlight. The German Shepard pawed at the young lion, as Flood swatted playfully at him.

"You know," Prowl said loudly, making the three in the corner jump, "If you REALLY want blackmail material…you should try waiting until Ironhide and Chromia are in close quarters and Optimus and Elita are out and about. Come along, Floodlight." The white lion tumbled after his new playmate.

-

Exhausted, yet feeling satisfied, both she devil and bear lumbered into the Autobot base. "Great job, Hide." Panted Chromia. "Same to you." The bear rumbled back. A red sparrow suddenly swooped down onto Ironhide's back. "Hello, you two." It chirped happily.

"What do you WANT, Sideswipe?" growled the bear.

"What? I just can't say hi?" asked the sparrow in an offended voice.

"You in particular? No. You're up to something, I know it."

"Aw, Ironhide," laughed the little bird, "Didn't know you cared. Bye now!" He fluttered off before either of them could say a word.

Landing a safe distance away, he radioed his brother.

"_Redbird to Goldfeather. I've placed the mic. Over. __**KRZZZT.**_

"_Sideswipe, I'm telling you: I hate that codename. Over. __**KRZZZT.**_

"_Stop being a stick in acid, Goldfeather. Over. __**KRZZZT.**_

"_Hey! Azul signing in. Over. __**KRZZT.**_

"_Hey blu- I mean, Azul. You in position? Over. __**KRZZT.**_

"_Yep. I'll start the next phase. Over and out. __**KRZZZT- Blip…**_

-

"So, Optimus…how have you been all this time?"

Elita and Optimus had found an isolated glade to converse about what had happened since they last saw each other.

"Well…" The red and blue armored wolf began, but he was cut off by a bark. Prowl was trotting up the hill, unusually chipper. "Hello, Optimus!" he ruffed happily.

"Erm, Prowl?" replied Optimus, sweatdropping. "A little busy…"

"Ah. Sorry, Elita, didn't see you there." He said, tail wagging. The female wolf tilted her head curiously at him. "Anything wrong Prowl?" she asked calmly.

"Nothing, just needed to ask Optimus something. Just need to borrow him for five minutes, promise!" Prowl said casually. She nodded and sighed.

-

"WHAT, PROWL?" snarled the male wolf angrily. Prowl's left ear slash audio receptor twitched. That was the signal.

Bluestreak lurked nearby…

-

"Just out of curiosity, I was wondering if you and Elita were considering making children…or should I say puppies? Wouldn't the technical term be sparkpups?"

Optimus had a sudden vision of what would happen if they had a sparkpup…or seven…

-

A rowdy pack of male sparkpups ran rampant round the base, some biting Ratchet's tail, others pouncing on Sideswipe, who was protesting in chirps and one snapping at a cawing Starscream. A couple of female sparkpups sat quietly next to their mother, while Optimus grabbed the squirming pups by the scruff and carried them back to a play pen…only to have them leap out a few astroseconds later…

-

Optimus' horrified expression was gold. PURE GOLD. Bluestreak laughed slightly before giving a convincing caw of a crow and flying off with the recording.

-

Optimus' shock was wearing off slightly. "Oh, and Optimus…" said Prowl hesitantly, "I've discovered why we've been turned into animals."

"WHAT?!" yelped the wolf. "You're just telling me this now?!"

"Well, Ratchet said not to disturb you or Ironhide." Said Prowl in a matter of factly voice.

-

Meanwhile, back at the Decepticon HQ…

"We've got him now, Megatron! OW! Sorry, Lord Megatron…"

Soundwave was typing as fast as he could with paws. They had cornered the virus that was responsible for their transformations…

"_A loud cackling came from the screen and a virtual face of the virus came on screen. __**"FOOLS! You cannot hope to defeat me! I, the great FILEREAPER! Stealer of data and stopper of sparks!"**_

"You sure do like to talk, don't you?" sneered Soundwave.

-

"Great job, you two. Much better then last time."

Sunny praised the two as he watched Optimus squirmed on a DVD screen and litsened to Ironhide and Chromia's conversation. This was GOLD. PURE, UNADULTERATED GOLD.

* * *

MAH FINGERS HURT…DX 


	8. Sparkpups!

For those of you who love OptimusXElita, keep reading. You may just probably like this. XD But if you didn't read the last chap, read it or you won't really get this one.

Anyway, I considered it some more, and I discussed it with the pair and it's settled. They'll let me give them kids in this story. Yeesh, I've never seen Elita so excited.

Elita: SQUEE!

* * *

"YOU WHAT?!"

Ratchet was staring at the she wolf with complete disbelief. "SLOW DOWN. You want me to make what now?"

"Sparklings. Three of them." Elita nodded. "Technically, the term would be sparkpups and I'd love to help you, but, uh, I don't have fingers. But I could call in a favor…" Ratchet was musing over the idea of calling…HIM.

"And who would we be dealing with?" asked Elita patiently.

"Chargepulse. Old student of mine. Almost as good as Wheeljack, but never really patient. He's the reason Jazz is back from the Matrix." He looked at the femme's stare nervously.

"Alright, alright! I'll try and contact him! But shouldn't you talk with Optimus first? I mean, doesn't he know?"

"He knows. Don't you fret, Ratch."

-

Bee and Floodlight were padding their way down the hall, when they heard Ratchet talking. Peeking inside, he saw an electric blue monkey on screen speaking with Ratchet.

"Yes, Chargepulse, we need you to make them!" Ratchet was bellowing. Bee and Flood exchanged glances. '_Make who_?' they wondered.

The monkey merely yawned and said, "Can't you do it?" His voice was slow and measured, as though he knew exactly what he was talking about at all times.

Ratchet held up a hoof. "If I had fingers, I'd be flipping you off! Now can you do it or not?"

"I suppose. But I'll need my team to gather some supplies. That could take a while…Depends on how Implode heals. Since we lost Image, we've been a bit short handed."

"I don't care! Whatever it takes! It's for Elita and Optimus!" snapped Ratchet.

The monkey, who had been leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head, suddenly fell off his chair. One hand pulled the rest of his body up as he said, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE? I'll be there within the week! Primus, you scared me with that tidbit of news…" The screen faded to black.

Ratchet looked satisfied. Bee and Flood had to ask Arcee on this matter. She was smart like that.

-

"Sparkpups?"

"Yeah, I heard Optimus and Elita discussing the matter while I passed them in the hall." Arcee said pleasantly. They has met her in her room and asked her about what they had heard. "It would seem that they want to have kids." She nodded sagely.

"What about me?" asked Flood worriedly. "What's gonna happen to me?"

"Nothing Floodlight." Bee reassured him. "You'll have to take care of them. You'll be their big brother!" This made the young lion swell with pride.

"Should we tell anyone? Or do they already know?" Arcee asked.

"I say we keep this quiet for now. Leastways until we tell Optimus and Elita we know." Bee said quietly.

-

"So you know."

Optimus and Elita sat before the three on a small stage like platform. "We preferred not for anyone to know, but it seems it got out already." Optimus seemed to shrug.

"Are you planning on telling anyone?" Elita asked, optics hard.

"Why? Are we not suppose to?" Floodlight piped up. Elita's optic's softened when she looked at the little mech. "No, it's not that you can't tell, but we'd prefer we keep it secret for now. Understand?"

"Yes ma'am…" Flood said in a respectful tone. Bee had a sudden though. "Optimus, if you and Elita have younglings and they pop up unexpectedly, what's everyone gonna think?" He asked.

"We tell them the truth." They said simultaneously.

-

Unfortunately, things were about to get crazy up in there. Ironhide and Chromia had been spying on the little meeting…and the mic planted on him had still not shut off.

Sunny could hear them loud and clear.

-

"Best. Day. Ever." Sunny said, listening to the tape over and over.


	9. Happy chaotic birthday

BEST. DAY. EVER. I got a snazzy new cover for my DS lite. Hehe, G1 Starscream makes fer a good cover.

Starscream: Look at me, I'm pretending to be flattered! I'm such an actor…

* * *

"Alright, they're ready. Do you have the sparks?" After a week of toil, Chargepulse had finally finished the sparklings. 

"Right here." Elita was inspecting the prone forms of her new sparklings…or at least their bodies. Two mechs, one the same color as Optimus and a black and white one and a femme the same color as her, lay before her.

"You ready? Let's get to it."

-

A bright flash of light and then…

BARK! YIP! ARF!

The three sparkpups sounded off. They sat next to each other, taking in their surroundings and…sniffing? "Why are they sniffing so much?" asked Elita curiously. "It's the virus that turned you into animals. It's improved their senses. They're probably sensing things none of our race has ever felt." Chargepulse explained. Optimus approached the sparkling most like himself. "What are we going to name them, Elita?" he asked, as his tiny look-alike's tail went between his legs at the sight of his father. He yipped nervously. Optimus nudged him with his muzzle, and he calmed down considerably.

"Well…" she began, "I was thinking we name the red and blue one Steelscale. Look at his armor, it's overlapping." Indeed it was true. His armor WAS overlapping. "The femme we can name Techna and the little black one Glyph." Said pups were attempting to bite each other playfully, snarling and yapping as they fought. Elita separated them with a firm paw. "That's enough, you two." She said, her voice as firm as her paw.

"They're old enough to walk…to an extent." Said Chargepulse. "Try not to tire them out or you'll be carrying them."

-

YARK! YARK! ARF!

The pups scrambled after their parents as they showed them the base. The odd thing was no one seemed surprised at the pups at all. However, they did stare.

Sunny was looking smug, as though he knew this was coming…Odd. Very odd.

-

"Aw, how cute! ARGH!"

Ironhide disappeared under a literal dog pile. The pups were sniffing him enthusiastically, while their parents and Chromia laughed. Later, when they met up with Mirage and Wheeljack, Steelscale and Glyph pawed at Mirage curiously, while Techna yelped as Wheeljack spontaneously combusted. And set her tail on fire.

Techna and Wheeljack weren't destined to get along from then on.

-

Prowl was growling at the pups, as they attempted to bite his tail, and Blue was well out of their reach. Or so he though. Steelscale proved him wrong and brought back three of his metal tail feathers to prove it. Ratchet didn't mind if the pups chewed on his tail. He just shrugged it off mostly. The same could not be said for Jazz. He hissed at the three for nipping his tail as it swished back and forth.

No tail was safe from the pups' jaws!

-

When they finally made it to Bee, Arcee and Flood, Glyph pounced on Floodlight, barking as Flood yowled. Techna snarled at her brother, pulling him off of Flood. Optimus and Elita exchanged glances. That was…odd.

"Hey, Optimus!" Bee padded up to him. "Congrats on the kids. But we didn't tell anyone about them, we swear!" "Then who did?" Elita asked.

"I believe that would be Sunny. This sounds just like something he'd do." Arcee piped up.

"Pardon me for a moment." Elita stalked off, back stiff. "I need to roast me a turkey."

-

"SUNSTREAKER, YOU AFT! GET BACK HERE SO I CAN PLUCK YOU BARE!"

A loud noise that sounded like a gobble, and Sunny came dashing by, Elita hot on his heels. Her pups watched her, heads moving back and forth as their mother chased this golden bird. Finally, one by one, they jumped up and joined her.

-

With the pups in recharge after the long, fun day, the new parental units could have some time alone.

Or so they though.

"I shall have my revenge! That femme stole my favorite tailfeather!"

Sunny, obviously, was hellbent on revenge. And he knew just how to get it.

* * *

Oh noes. Sunny, hurt those pups and you're cat food. 

Shift: -raises paw- I volunteer to be a taste tester.

Sunny: -sweatdrop-


	10. Feathers and Corruption

ACK! –is dogpiled-

Wheeljack: Aww, how cute! OW! She bit me!

Techna: -growls, barks angrily-

Starscream: How cute, I might just eject my tank contents. AHHHH!

Glyph: -pulling on his tail-

* * *

"ARFARFARFARFARF!"

The pups were making some kind of din. All were hungry for energon and they needed it now. AS IN RIGHT NOW.

-

Elita and Optimus took turns feeding the pups, but it was a handful. "Ugh…I'll take care of them. Don't get up, Elita…"

-

Usually Arcee or Bee volunteered to babysit during the day, but it seemed Sunny beat them to it today.

"I'll look after them as though they were my own spark and fluid, don't you worry!" Sunny had plastered a smile on his face. "That's what I'm worried about…" both parents muttered at the same time.

-

"YARKYARKYARK!"

Sunny stood off to the side as the pups wrestled. In Sunny's opinion, it was Steelscale who was dominant over the other two. Techna was somewhere in the middle, and it was Glyph who was constantly getting a beating from his brother and sometimes his sister. The black and white pup was currently playing tug of war with his brother, and losing miserably. The stick snapped, and sent Glyph head over paws into the bushes with the shorter half of the stick. Steelscale sauntered off with his prize, the bigger half of the stick.

Glyph emerged, tail drooping and he shook himself to rid himself of debris. He sat down and watched his brother and sister play tug of war with the remainder of the stick, whimpering slightly.

Sunny saw his chance.

"Hey there Glyph." He said softly. The pup looked up curiously. "Ark?" he barked questioningly.

"Those two sure are mean, huh?" he said in an understanding voice. The pup merely blinked. "Ark?"

"You stick with Sunny. We'll have lots of fun together." He said, smiling. Glyph wagged his tail once and sat closer to the peacock.

-

Meanwhile, Steelscale and Techna had spotted something silver running around by the trees. Barking and yapping, they dashed towards it.

-

"HOLY SHIT! CADE, HEEEEEEEEELP!" Frenzy screeched as the pups chased him up a tree, barking all the way. Frenzy chattered angrily at them, as they attempted to scale the tree themselves. The Doberman, accompanied by Turret, rushed towards them, bristling.

"Where did you two brats come from?" he snarled, as the pups looked at him, not recognizing him at all.

"WELL?" he barked, causing them to jump and huddle together nervously.

Turret looked curiously at the two, tail wagging. Standing up, she pawed at Steelscale, who responded with a threatening growl. Turret backed away, confused and looking hurt. Barricade stood between them, staring at the two pups.

"_These must be Prime's brats!" _he thought angrily. _"Well, it _seems_ Cryos wasn't wrong this time. That stupid monkey actually gave us some info we could use!"_

_-_

Giving a dirgelike howl, he summoned Starscream in a heartbeat. The raven's sudden appearance made the pups excited. "What's up with them?" asked the Seeker disdainfully.

They had seen his shiny tail feathers.

-

_A few moments later…_

"ARGH!" Starscream was flapping off, missing several feathers from his rear.

Barricade had chased after him, yelling obscenities after the distraught Seeker. Turret tried to approach Steelscale again, but he merely growled and stalked away, feathers in his mouth, and Techna scampering after him. Looking hurt, she plodded off after Cade. Frenzy, however, wasn't done here yet.

There were still Starbucks drinks to steal from collage students.

-

"YOU IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN?!"

Sunny was getting a chewing out from Optimus AND Elita. He wasn't sure who he was more afraid of.

Meanwhile, Steelscale had added Starscream's feathers to his collection, right along Sunny's and Blue's. Man, how he wanted one of Wheeljack's feathers! They were sooooo pretty, and warm too! But everytime he got close, BOOM! Everything went up in flame! Oh well...

-

As they climbed into their recharge beds, Elita came in to wish them a good night.

"Goodnight, my little sparklings." She cooed, nudging them with her muzzle.

Techna and Steelscale had yipped a response, but Glyph had stayed silent, not looking at his mother.

-

"Optimus, have you noticed something wrong with Glyph?"

"No, why?"

"Oh, it's nothing." But indeed it was something bothering the she wolf...


	11. Turret learns and Sunny steals!

Considering Sunny's revenge is not in play…yet, we'll check in on the Decepticons. We'll check back on the Autobots later.

* * *

It was late at night when Barricade caught up with the Seeker. Megatron was listening to his report, smirking.

"You got owned by a sparkpup, and Prime's too! You weakling!" Starscream winced at the sound. "Yeah, well, don't get too cozy. He'll want yours as well." The Seeker said darkly. Megatron didn't look at all worried.

Barricade looked back at Turret, who plodded sadly after him.

This was something he needed to consult Quakeshot and Shift about.

-

"She's smitten, that's what it is."

"What?" Barricade sat before the two femmes as they lounged in their hanger. "What do you mean, 'smitten'?"

"She likes this pup of Prime's, that's what my scaly friend means." The lynx said sagely. "This isn't good. We can't afford crossbred sparklings. Quakeshot, shall we deal with her?"

"Quite, Shift. Barricade, leave Turret with us tomorrow. We'll sort it all out." The cobra hissed.

-

The next day, the Doberman carried the femme by her scruff to Shift, who was waiting out side the hanger. "Excellent. Don't you worry, Cade, we'll deal with this one's stupid feelings for that mutt!" Turret looked up at Shift, whimpering. "Hush now Turret. We're merely here to teach you. Come along."

The pup followed the lynx obediently. Barricade had a bad feeling about this…

-

By the end of the day, Turret looked tired, but excited. She was telling Cade and Frenzy all about her day. The training methods were starting to scare the two mechs. "Ripping a stuffed toy puppy open?" repeated Cade, optic ridge raised. "Yeah!" she barked happily. "Quakeshot said we'll keep training tomorrow. But she said I needed rest…" All at once, the pup looked tired. Picking her up by the scruff, Cade dropped her onto her recharge bed. He began stalking out of the room, when he heard Turret yip, "Good night."

"Good night, Turret. Sweet dreams." Cade said, barely realizing the last part of his response was…nice.

-

Turret couldn't sleep.

The femme couldn't get that other pup out of her mind. Why didn't he like her? Floodlight liked her, and he was an Autobot, so the fact she was a Decepticon wasn't it…

She sighed and shuttered her optics. She did need sleep…

-

The next day, Elita rose early that morning. She went in to check on the pups…only to find Glyph up and following Floodlight to get some energon. She blinked. What was going on with this pup of hers? She resolved to keep an optic on him today, see how he got along with the others.

Steelscale and Techna rose much later, each staggering sleepily after their father, who was taking care of them today. Elita had told him to do so she could watch Glyph.

-

Bee, Flood and Arcee didn't mind Elita following them around at all. They went about their daily business, caring for Flood and Glyph. Both were getting along quite well, despite their differences, and this made Elita happy. It was good to know he wasn't a loner by nature. But when she observed him with his brother and sister, she frowned. They constantly fought, and left the black and white pup out in several activites.

She reported her findings to Optimus, who frowned as well. As they watched Sunny teach Glyph the fundamentals of good pranking, they knew what had to be done.

They had to spend more time with Glyph.

-

"Good, Turret! I think you'll be ready sooner then I thought!"

The cobra femme had been testing the pup's hand to hand (Or paw to paw) combat skills. Being a cobra, her strikes were swift, but Turret was dodging easily. Shift sat next to Barricade, looking quietly at her pupil. "What do you think?" she asked, "Great, eh? When we change back, we'll teach her how to fight long range style."

When Barricade's expression didn't change, she added, "Lord Megatron approves as well. He thinks it'll be poetic should one of his brother's pups dies at the hands of Turret."

"When will that program Soundwave's working on be ready?" asked Barricade, not looking at her.

"Hopefully by next week." Shift responded.

"Excellent."

-

"Alright, ready?"

"Urf." Glyph woofed excitedly.

"Alright, on three. One…two…THREE! CHARGE!"

"ARGH!"

-

A brief scuffle and then…

"VICTORY!" Sunny emerged from the dust cloud, badly burned, but one of Wheeljack's tail feathers in his beak. Glyph emerged with several more. They retreated, laughing happily.

Meanwhile, Wheeljack sat on his butt feathers, confused.

"What in the-? What just hit me?"


	12. Femmes never lie, Cade!

A/N : Hola, people. This chap gonna be a little dramatic, but it'll switch back to funny, once we get to Sunny and Sides in the next chap. Really!

* * *

Optimus looked back to check up on his sparkmate and Glyph. The three had gotten up early to take what the humans called a hike up into a mountainous region. Elita was keeping pace, and surprisingly enough, so was Glyph. "Come on, you two. We're almost there." Optimus continued leading them uphill.

Little did they know that their organic counterparts were watching them.

-

"Wow…" Elita breathed. The view was amazing. They could see everything, every building in the nearby city, even the Decepticon base! (Wait, what?)

"This would make a great vantage point." Optimus pointed out. Elita was about to agree, when her ears pricked up. Whirling around, she saw two normal wolves staring at her curiously. "Optimus, we have company." She growled. To their surprise, the wolves padded off, as though running off to report to their alpha.

The three thought it best to leave while the getting was good. They didn't wish to get in their way.

-

Meanwhile, Ironhide, Chromia and Prowl were in charge of Steelscale's and Techna's education and training. Prowl was mostly in charge of their strategizing classes, but he still didn't know why Jazz couldn't teach them that. He thought about asking him later, as he watched Steelscale crouch in a fighting pose before Ironhide. Prowl smirked. This lesson was testing the bear's patience, as he preferred working with guns and such. Techna was sparring with Chromia, the elder going a little easy on her due to her inexperience. Techna had picked up on hand to hand combat skills more quickly than her brother. Prowl had to summarize that Steelscale would end up a trigger happy like Hide.

-

"No no no! Turret, like this!"

The pup panted wearily. Shift had insisted that they go over one last drill before they call it a day. It wasn't even noon yet, but they were ending the lesson early.

Quakeshot and Shift had a special surprise for her later.

-

_Several hours later…_

Optimus and Elita returned with a cheerful Glyph. The pup merely needed a good time with his parentals, and he would be right as rain.

As the trio approached the base, they saw Steelscale and Techna hanging out by the entrance. Both rushed up to greet their parents, but Steelscale glared enviously at Glyph. How had HE gotten Wheeljack's feathers when he couldn't?! Techna nuzzled Glyph in greeting, as the black and white pup's tail wagged.

At least his sister didn't hate him.

-

"They're getting along quite well, Optimus."

Ironhide, Chromia and Prowl were reporting how the day's lesson went. "I'll say." Piped up Prowl, agreeing with Ironhide. "Although I have one question: Why isn't Jazz teaching them strategizing? He's better with kids then I am." Optimus fixed the German Shepard with a hard glare, before saying casually, "They'll be too distracted with his tail. They won't focus. Get it?" Prowl had quailed under the Autobot leader's gaze. "Yeah, pretty much." He said weakly.

-

"But I don't wanna go after him! He's mean!"

Apparently, the 'special surprise' was an encounter with Steelscale. A one on one encounter.

"Hmm…" was all Shift said, as she looked worriedly at Quakeshot. How would her friend react to Turret's hesitance? The cobra sat coiled atop a box, musing over Turret's words. "He's mean, huh? Very well. I know what's going to happen. Turret, we still go after him tonight, but with some different motives. Sound good?" The pup nodded. "Good. Now, this won't happen until later, so go take a nap or something." Turret scampered out, eager to get out of there.

A few moments passed, before Quakeshot rose slightly. "Barricade, you may come in." The Doberman emerged from the shadows near the door. "You obviously have qualms about our training methods? Bitch away, the night's young."

"Turret's my charge, I don't appreciate you two harpies trying to muscle in on my business." He growled softly. Shift and Quakeshot laughed. "We're merely teaching her how to defend herself against the world, Barricade. She's being bullied by a mech, so she needs to strike back! After all, you mechs think you rule the systems, but in actuality, the femmes are the power sources behind EVERY SINGLE THING IN BEING. Megatron was wise to our ways and wanted us gone. All of us. That's why he exterminated us and the sparklings…But seems he didn't do a good job, eh?"

"You speak nonsense." Snapped Barricade, yet his optics showed surprise.

"Oh please, Barricade." Scoffed Shift, circling him as she spoke. "The only reason why we femmes chose to side with the Autobots 97 percent of the time was because their resources suited our needs, ambitions and goals. Those who wanted power in the form of fighting prowess and tactical efficiency joined the Decepticons. All the others wished to smart, as in scientists and other things. But we all wanted the same thing at one time or another and that was power to end this petty war the mechs started. It would be poetic, you see, a war ended by femmes, yet started by mechs." Shift stopped. "Ah, but you know too much."

"So what? Are you going to eliminate me?" sneered Barricade. "No. But we'll stop Turret's lessons if you wish it so." Quakeshot hissed.

"Fine." Barricade turned his back to leave, but he heard Shift say, "But I wonder Barricade. Are you trying to protect her from the inevitable? Turret's a Decepticon, so she's bound to fight with that brat of Prime's sooner or later…most likely later, but you never know." "Yesssss…" put in Quakeshot, half laughing, half hissing. "Are you afraid she'll fall for him and perhaps rip your spark out when you realize she'll choose him over you?" There was pure venom in that last word. Barricade shook the words off, and stalked out of the hanger.

Both femmes simpered. They were right.

-

"Cade?" yipped Turret, lifting her head from her recharge bed. The Doberman nuzzled the femme. "Shhh…Go back into recharge. I just came to tell you that you won't be doing lessons with Quakeshot or Shift anymore."

The femme blanched. "Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"No." replied Cade soothingly.

"Ok." Said Turret, relived. "I don't wanna fight him anyway…" she yawned, and lowered her head, optics shuttering. "I just wanna be friends with him." She murmured sleepily.

That last sentence made Cade flinch. Had those two been right?

* * *

OMG, THIS IS THE LONGEST THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN. MY HANDS... -is soaking them in water- 


	13. BLOODY PIT!

Ahh…my hands are feeling better. I'm a notoriously fast healer, so yeah. Bad thing is, I've got a runny nose…-wachoo!- and sneezing like crazy. –sniff- Oh well. On with the story!

* * *

"Sunny, didn't you learn from last time?"

"Apparently not. If this doesn't get Glyph under my wing, nothing will!"

"But stealing Megatron's feathers?"

"Those are the only ones Steelscale needs for his collection! If he gets them before us, he'll never let Glyph live it down! We have to help him!"

"Again, I say: But steal Megatron's feathers?!"

"Yep."

-

"Alrighty, Glyph, you ready?" The yellow and blue green mech had painted himself black for the occasion. Now, this was a hard blow to his paintjob, but sometimes scarifies needed to be made for the greater good! Getting revenge on Optimus Prime and Elita was part of it.

"I've gotten Wheeljack to help us. Apparently, he's not mad at us for ripping his tail feathers off. I find that strange, but I won't complain. Now all I need to do is write a note…" He scribbled something on a sticky note, and stuck it to his door. "There! Now we can go."

-

"WHADDAYA MEAN, 'MISSING?!"

"I mean, you two, that Sunstreaker has decided to make your son kind of a nephew of his. Look, he even left a note."

Optimus stared at the note in Prowl's paw. It read:

_Dear Optimus and Elita,_

_I have taken your son, Glyph, to get some self esteem. If we're gone for more than twenty minutes, do not hesitate to go after us._

_We will be at the Decepticon base, robbing Megatron of his butt feathers._

_Hugs and kisses, Sunstreaker_

_Ps. Elita, I have one thing to say: UR HOT. XD_

"THAT LITTLE SUNUFAGLITCH!" snarled Elita, who was reading the note as well. "I'll kill him for stealing my son!"

"Shall I assemble the Autobots?" asked Prowl. "No, you're going to inform Jazz, who'll assemble the Autobots." Optimus snapped. "YOU are going to stay here and finish Jazz's project. He'll fill you in on it."

"But whyyyyyy?!" Prowl said, sounding all the world like a whining sparkling. Optimus looked him directly in the optics, and said the universal answer to EVERYTHING in the universe.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO. NOW GO."

-

Several minutes later…

"Ok, let me get this straight: you've been working on a program that'll change us back to normal for the past two weeks, only going out to get energon and maybe exercising, and no one ever noticed?"

"Ayup."

"Man, we're so…unobservant. I'll gladly trade you jobs. I can't take teaching the pups EVERY SINGLE DAY. You go and get Sunny and Glyph, while I stay here."

The panther cocked his head. "Why? Is Sunny about to do something incredibly stupid?"

"In your words, 'Ayup'."

"Sounds fun. Have fun finishing the program."

-

Sunny and Glyph were sneaking through the Decepticon base…after Wheeljack set fire to the main computer, of course. Apparently, his spontaneous combustion could be used for good…and mindless destruction. It was a win-win situation.

"There he is." Whispered Sunny, spotting Megatron. His had forgotten to shut his door, and, well…

"He sleeps on a perch?" Sunny had to stifle his laughter, as he looked at Megatron, head tucked under his right wing, sound asleep. Glyph looked up at his mentor, whimpering in anxiety. "Oh, right. Sorry, Glyph. Let's get to it."

A few steps into the room, one swift pluck, and…

"ARGH!"

"RUN AWAY!" Glyph and Sunny fled, holding some of Megatron's feathers in their mouths, while he flapped around the room in a panic, screaming bloody murder and screeching in a language even he didn't understand.

-

Barricade jolted awake at the sound of Megatron's screeches. His door slid open, and a frantic Sunny and Glyph tumbled in, panting.

When the peacock realized what room he'd stumbled into, he muttered, "Oh Pit." As Barricade bristled and deep growls emitted from his vocalizer.

* * *

Uh oh. Sunny's in trouble. Someone's come along and it's burst his bubble.

Turret: -sings- Yeah, yeah.

Me: -wachoo!- Oh boy. I hope I'm not sick…And I'd do reviews...but I'm not feeling well. Maybe next chap...


	14. Back to the Norm?

Ahh…I'm still feeling ill…Oh well. I should work on this first, then make myself hot coco. Yeah, that's how I spell coco!

Shift: I'd help ya, Rice, but I specialize in Decepticon healing/ repairs. Just don't sneeze on me. Can't get sick from you, but that's just nasty, sneezing on someone…

Me: Gee, thanks for the encouragement. And this is the last chap before I do my new story, 'Mirror Mirror'

* * *

"They went this way! Come on!" BLAM. "Ow…"

Starscream lay at the foot of the door, stunned. He didn't understand. These doors were supposed to be automatic! Why hadn't they sensed him?

Sunny had barricaded himself in Megatron's room, along with Glyph, who was sniffing around. Suddenly, the pup yipped. "Whatcha find, Glyph?" asked Sunny, nervously looking at the shuddering door. The black and white pup dragged out a book with cursive print on them. They read, "Megatron's journal. KEEP OUT OR ELSE!"

Sunstreaker grinned. "Jackpot."

-

Megatron was hearing LAUGHTER from inside his room. OH CRAP. They must have found his diary!

"OPEN THIS DOOR NOW, YOU AUTOBOT SCUM!" he snarled, slamming repeatedly at the door until he was an unconscious heap on the floor, right next to a woozy Starscream.

Barricade and Shift rolled their optics at the two. "Quakeshot!" "Frenzy!" "You two know what to do." The pair said simultaneously.

Slithering and dashing up to the vents, the squirrel and the cobra found themselves staring down at Sunstreaker and Glyph, both laughing over a small black book.

-  
"THIS…IS…PRICLESS!" Sunstreaker gasped. He'd been laughing so hard, he needed to catch his breath. "I hope we get out of this so we can show Optimus and Elita!" He never saw Frenzy leap down at him, but his now black feathers bristled like blades, sharp and strong.

Sunny heard a crunching sound, and as he turned, he saw Frenzy had impaled his tail on one of the feathers. "Oh, hi Frenzy." He said obliviously. The squirrel was jabbering and snarling when the feather he was impaled on suddenly shot off Sunny's tail…and buried its tip in the wall across the room.

Sunny didn't even notice. He was too busy pouring over Megatron's journal. "Ooooh, look at this! Says here Megatron's had 300 plus femmes in his room…in a single week. THAT BASTARD! That' beats my record! He'll pay, oh he'll PAY!"

-

Quakeshot was coiled up near the exit to the vent. Why kill him now when he was reading Megatron's private journal aloud? She listened…and laughed. However, she was going to kill them both later, that was for sure.

"What's taking Quakeshot so long?!" snarled Shift impatiently.

Barricade didn't answer. He was too busy listening to Frenzy's crazed jabbering near the door. He was swearing like, well, Frenzy only could. He smirked. Whatever that crazed peacock was doing, it was really…interesting.

-

Quakeshot thought it was about time she silenced this bird.

Unlike her companions, she was most like the animal she'd become. She actually had corrosive acid instead of venom and injecting it into Cybertronian metal would cause it to corrode, melt and do other nasty things.

Slithering down from her perch, she poised herself to strike…

-

Optimus, Elita and the rest of the Autobots were charging down the halls of the Decepticon Base, each ready for battle. However, when they got to Megatron's room, Ratchet didn't look where he was going and…

CRASH!

He busted straight through the door and sent Barricade, Shift and Quakeshot flying. Sunny looked up from his journal reading. "Would you keep it down?" he snapped. "Some of us are trying to read here!" "GLYPH!" Elita charged past the peacock and nuzzled her youngling. "Are you alright? Did those bad Decepticons hurt you?" Glyph shook his head and presented one of his feathers to his mother. "Awww, thank you!" she cooed, while Jazz dragged Sunny towards Elita, who's expression hardened when she looked at Sunny.

"YOU." She snarled, growls emitting from her vocalizer.

-

Elita was chasing a fleeing Sunny, who gave a loud cry that sounded a lot like a chicken's.

Meanwhile, Megatron was barely getting up. Clutching his head with a wing, he saw the scene.

"WHAT THE PIT IS EVERYONE DOING IN MY ROOM?!" He shrieked. "OUT! OUT! OUUUUUUT!" He hadn't thought that through…He was standing in the entrance and everyone stampeded out…thus trampling him.

Meanwhile, Optimus had something in his jaws. A little black book with cursive print on it.

-

After about a week, Prowl finally got the program up and running and everyone was changed back to normal. Now Optimus' younglings were plain younglings, but it would seem that some of the virus never left their sparks. Occasionally, they would yip instead of squeak or click.

The Decepticons managed to change back as well, however, few wished to be reminded of that experience.

Other then that, everyone was back to normal. At least, until Sunny cleaned out his room and found his old mirror.

* * *

Awirght, stop crying! I'm starting my new story right now! But first, reviews! YAY! Starscream, get your aft over here!

Starscream: -grumbles- Why?

Me: In case I fall asleep again!

Myrmdryad: Megatron, you wanna say something? No? Ok, I'll say it then. Yes it was funny, but at Megatron's expense. XD

theshadowcat: Nope, it's not allergies. And yes, Sunny'll be good as eaten come Thanksgiving. Elita and Optimus'll enjoy that.

Elita One: Well, Glyph will need self esteem later in his life. ;)

OptimusxElita4ever: I'll let Sunny answer this.

Sunny: -sweatdrop- I was hoping that calling her hot would distract from the fact that I took her son! –is hit in the head with a bowling ball- OW!

Elita: THAT'S FOR TAKING GLYPH!

Blood shifter: I think death by Elita would be worse.

Elita: Damn right!

Yami Yugi3: Yes, it is cute and funny. XD Stay tuned for the next story.

Well, that's the end of it. Hope you like this story and look for 'Mirror Mirror" coming soon!


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